It Is Up To You

I always know when I've had a bad day, I can come to the barn and get centered again.  That never changes.  It reminds me of all that is good and right in the world.  When I am with my horse I forget how certain things have gotten so complicated and confusing.  It's like time stands still.  If  I can just stand next to my mare for a while as she quietly munches on her hay my worries,concerns and fears melt away.

I've heard that there are only two things certain in the world: Death and taxes.  Here are some others that I have discovered along the way when I am at the barn.  Of course, these are specific to me and my horse, but I'm sure you can find some of your own in your relationship with someone you love, too.

• She has allowed me to make so many mistakes, yet she still accepts me.
• She depends on me.
• She knows I am there for her.
• She trusts me to not put her in a bad situation.
• If she gets in a bad situation, she knows I will do my best to get her out of it.
• She will always get a positive response from me either with a kiss, a hug or a treat.
• I will get kissed to death until I give her a treat.
• I will get crushed if I don't give her a butt rub.

And, another thing just occurred to me; my horse doesn't force me to see things her way.  She doesn't try to get in the last word, or say I told you so.  She is very patient and allows me to figure out things in my own way and make mistakes.  She knows when I mess up I will try very hard not to do it again.  A friend once told me that horses compensate for the stupidity of humans.

When I first got Dancer, I was advised to do many different things.  The trainers I worked with told me I needed to show her who was boss, and sadly there wasn't much patience or kindness involved.  I didn't know any better and allowed that to happen.  Truthfully, I always felt something wasn't right and I never felt comfortable with those approaches.  My primary goal was to have a partnership, but never out of fear.  I unknowingly tried to make her into something she could never be. Partly because of her breeding, and partly because of abuse and abandonment issues.  It's taken many years for her and I to get to the point where we understand and respect each other.  It sounds almost like a marriage, doesn't it? And in lots of ways, it is.  There is a lot of work involved and each day is different.  And you always have to remind yourself that tomorrow is a new day and when things don't go as planned, chalk it up to giving things your best effort.

There are times even now, just in general, when I try to do something , I realize maybe I'm going too fast and wanting things to happen in my time and not God's.  I have to remind myself that the things I want aren't always a good idea or meant to be  Those are basic lessons that have never changed in the course of humanity,  We humans are always trying to be in control, and have power.  We are so busy focusing on that and we forget to see all the beautiful things right in front of us.

"We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves." ~Lynn Hall


I was having a conversation with my father about how everything comes full circle.  We try new and different things, but always come back to the tried and true.  Everything old becomes new again.  Haven't you noticed?   It's taken years, but people are finally realizing it isn't about the stuff,  it's about the moments and the time spent with loved ones.  It's about simplifying  and making time for what matters.  We are all going to look back and feel sad about all the time we spent on meaningless things like our phones and computers instead of with our loved ones and truly appreciating all the beauty that is right in front of us.  That will never change.  That will always stay the same.

xoxo, Andi and Dancer